To support a colleague who is struggling mentally, start by acknowledging what you have noticed and creating a safe, private space for an honest conversation. You do not need to have all the answers. Simply showing up, listening without judgment, and letting your colleague know they are not alone can make a profound difference. This article walks through the key questions most people have about supporting a colleague’s mental health at work.
What are the signs that a colleague is struggling mentally?
A colleague may be struggling mentally if you notice persistent changes in their behaviour, mood, or performance over time. These changes are rarely dramatic. More often, they are subtle shifts that build gradually, such as becoming withdrawn, missing deadlines they would normally meet, or seeming emotionally flat in situations where they were previously engaged.
Common signs to look out for include:
- Increased absence or frequent lateness without clear explanation
- Visible fatigue, low energy, or a noticeable drop in concentration
- Withdrawal from team conversations, social interactions, or collaborative work
- Irritability, emotional outbursts, or uncharacteristic tearfulness
- Reduced quality or output of work compared to their usual standard
- Expressing feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, or being overwhelmed
- Physical complaints such as frequent headaches or digestive issues, which can accompany stress and anxiety
No single sign is definitive. What matters is a pattern of change from someone’s normal baseline. Trust your instincts. If something feels different about a colleague, it is worth gently checking in rather than waiting for certainty.
How do you start a conversation with a colleague about mental health?
Start a conversation about a colleague’s mental health by choosing a private, low-pressure moment and leading with genuine concern rather than a formal agenda. A simple, open question like “I’ve noticed you seem a bit unlike yourself lately. How are you really doing?” signals care without forcing disclosure. The goal is to open a door, not to diagnose or solve.
A few practical principles to guide the conversation:
- Choose the right setting. A quiet, private space removes the fear of being overheard. A walk outside can feel less confrontational than sitting face to face across a desk.
- Be specific and kind. Rather than a vague “Are you okay?”, reference something concrete you have observed. This shows you have paid attention and are not asking out of habit.
- Give them time to respond. Silence after a question is not awkward. It is an invitation. Resist the urge to fill the pause immediately.
- Make it clear there is no pressure. Let your colleague know they do not have to share anything they are not comfortable with. The offer of support matters even if they decline it in the moment.
Many people hesitate to start these conversations out of fear of saying the wrong thing. In reality, the act of reaching out itself communicates something powerful. Most people who are struggling simply want to feel seen.
What should you say (and avoid saying) when supporting a colleague?
When supporting a colleague with mental health difficulties, the most effective thing you can say is less about specific words and more about genuine listening. Phrases that validate their experience, such as “That sounds really hard” or “I’m glad you told me,” go a long way. What to avoid is equally important: dismissive responses, unsolicited advice, and comparisons to others can cause real harm even when well-intentioned.
Helpful things to say
- “I’m here for you and I’m not going anywhere.”
- “You don’t have to have it all figured out. I just wanted you to know I’ve noticed and I care.”
- “What would be most helpful for you right now?”
- “Would it be useful to talk to someone who can offer more support?”
Things to avoid saying
- “Everyone feels like that sometimes.” This minimises their experience and can make someone feel they have no right to struggle.
- “You just need to think more positively.” Mental health difficulties are not resolved by attitude alone.
- “I know exactly how you feel.” Even with the best intentions, this can shift the focus away from your colleague.
- “Have you tried exercise / meditation / cutting out caffeine?” Unsolicited lifestyle advice can feel patronising when someone is in genuine distress.
- Breaking their confidence without their knowledge, unless there is a serious risk to their safety.
Your role as a colleague is not to fix the problem. It is to be present, to listen, and to help your colleague feel less alone. That, in itself, is meaningful support.
When should you involve HR or a manager?
You should involve HR or a manager when a colleague’s mental health difficulties appear to be significantly affecting their ability to work safely, when they express thoughts of self-harm or suicide, or when they ask for support that goes beyond what a colleague can reasonably provide. Confidentiality matters, but safety always comes first.
In most situations, it is worth asking your colleague directly whether they would be comfortable with you flagging their situation to HR or their line manager. Many people feel more in control of their experience when they are part of that decision rather than having it made for them.
There are, however, situations where escalation should not wait for permission:
- If a colleague discloses thoughts of suicide or self-harm, this is a safeguarding matter and must be escalated to someone with the training and authority to respond appropriately.
- If their behaviour poses a risk to themselves or others in the workplace.
- If they are clearly unable to make decisions for themselves due to the severity of their distress.
In these moments, involving HR, a manager, or a trained Mental Health First Aider is not a betrayal. It is the most responsible thing you can do. Many organisations now have dedicated Mental Health First Aiders specifically trained to handle these situations with care and competence.
How can organisations train employees to support colleagues’ mental health?
Organisations can train employees to support colleagues’ mental health by equipping them with structured, evidence-based programmes that build practical skills in recognising distress, having supportive conversations, and knowing when and how to escalate. Training moves mental health support from good intention to confident action, and it benefits everyone across the organisation, not just those in formal wellbeing roles.
Effective workplace mental health training typically covers:
- How to recognise early warning signs of mental health difficulties
- How to approach and hold a supportive, non-judgemental conversation
- Active listening techniques and how to respond in a crisis
- Understanding common mental health conditions and how they present at work
- Signposting colleagues to appropriate internal and external resources
- Setting healthy boundaries to protect the wellbeing of the supporter
Embedding this training across teams rather than limiting it to HR or management creates a genuinely supportive culture. When multiple people in a team have the skills and confidence to notice and respond to mental health difficulties, the net effect on morale, retention, and performance is significant.
How Wellity Global helps organisations build mental health support skills
Wellity Global provides accredited, evidence-based training that equips employees and leaders with the skills to genuinely support colleagues struggling with their mental health. Programmes are delivered on-site, virtually, or through a blended approach, and are available across 80+ countries and all industries. Key offerings include:
- Mental Health First Aid (MHFA England): A globally recognised programme that teaches participants to listen, reassure, and respond in a mental health crisis. Attendees leave as certified MHFAiders® with the confidence to have real conversations and take appropriate action.
- IAMH (International Advocate for Mental Health): The world’s first accredited and globally inclusive workplace mental health advocate programme, available in all countries and all languages, designed for organisations operating at scale across diverse cultures.
- Customised wellbeing programmes: Tailored training interventions built around your organisation’s specific challenges, sectors, and workforce, with full project management and outcome evaluation included.
With a proven track record of training over one million employees worldwide and a typical ROI of 9:1, Wellity Global is the trusted partner for organisations serious about mental health at work. Speak to the Wellity team today to find the right programme for your people.
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